


Fucking Haikus

by casey_sms (shinygreenwords), shinygreenwords



Series: Haiku Therapy [2]
Category: The Social Network
Genre: Haiku, Humor, M/M, Masturbation, Romance, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-16
Updated: 2012-01-16
Packaged: 2017-10-30 02:50:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/326945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinygreenwords/pseuds/casey_sms, https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinygreenwords/pseuds/shinygreenwords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dustin stumbles across Mark’s stash of fucking haikus. Really, it was just there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fucking Haikus

**Author's Note:**

> The rating has gone up ahaha. Haiku aren't cool, you know what's cool? Sex haiku. I would like to acknowledge [](princewardoprofile)[**princewardo**](princewardo) whose encouraging tweet helped make this happen. For the [winter tsn-a-thon](http://tsn-a-thon2.tumblr.com/): Team Parker.

For the record, Dustin is all for Mark and Eduardo becoming MarkandEduardo again. Even when Mark is a secret exhibitionist with Eduardo as his shameless enabler. Who is he kidding, Eduardo has always been Mark’s enabler. In his opinion (his very own personal opinion that he is not sharing with anyone because Chris would kill him and then he would respawn him just to kill him again), the lawsuit was merely a comma in their relationship. A semi-colon at the moment. Mark and Eduardo are like two bits of a sentence (clauses Chris would probably say or something like that). Open and close tags. The type of people that are very different but complement each other. 

So let it be said that Dustin would never get in the way of _destiny_ and _true love_. However he does prefer the Disney version in which love means true love’s kiss and not true love’s…he doesn’t even know the name of the position he found Mark and Eduardo in. It’s probably not even in the kama sutra. It is freaky in the way that Mark is creative and Eduardo is flexible. 

But right now this is not what Dustin wants to be thinking about. 

It’s really not his fault. 

The slip of paper was in a stack of reports. If it was handwritten, Dustin would not be able to read it. Mark’s chicken scratch is worse than doctor’s handwriting. It’s like a giant squiggly worm of doom. If only. No, this is typed clearly in Time New Roman, size 12 font. Very default settings. And it’s a set of five haiku. It’s definitely Mark. 

Dustin really shouldn’t read it. 

He shouldn’t. 

*

My eyes undress you  
Your lips, mesmerizing me  
Your mouth on my cock

Your fingers touch me  
Touching me on the inside  
You make me undone

* 

“Ugh,” Dustin says, tearing his eyes away. “Jesus, Mark,” Dustin says, blushing already but he can’t stop reading even though it’s gross gross (sexy beautiful dirty _sex_ ) because – 

He did not know Mark wrote like that. 

He’s not going to be able to look Wardo in the eye but shit. 

*

We come together  
Fully sheathed in your tight heat  
My dick inside you

Closer and closer  
You move in me and I say  
“Yes, harder, please, more!”

You pull out of me  
I feel empty without you  
But you hold me close

*

Dustin puts the poetry down. Fuck. I totally wants to wank thanks to Mark’s stupid sexy haikus. 

So he wanks and tries to forget about how they are Mark’s words he’s wanking to until-

He stumbles on a new batch in Mark’s ‘out’ tray. 

Obviously Wardo hadn’t got to them yet. 

Dustin should leave it alone. Really. 

*

Fuck, I miss your cock  
The way it tastes on my tongue  
When I deep throat you

I miss your fingers  
Lightly trailing down my skin  
They press inside me

Fuck, I miss your mouth  
Kiss-swollen lips around me  
A generous smile

Miss the way we fuck  
I just want it all the time  
You and me – fucking 

Oh, I miss your voice  
When you tell me you love me  
It never gets old

*

“You’re a secret sap, Mark,” Dustin curses. At least there are no names. The words are hot okay? And he’s a guy. 

Though at lunch, Dustin can’t help but say snarkily, “How’s your writing going, Mark?”

“Better than yours,” Mark says breezily. 

“Aren’t haikus supposed to be about nature?” Dustin jibes. 

“It’s haiku,” Mark corrects. “And sex is totally natural. Stop reading my email, Dustin, and get laid,” Mark says smugly, with the superiority of someone eight days older. 

“I haven’t hacked your email,” Dustin says. “You’re the one who keeps leaving your…your sex haikies whatever sex words on your desk.” 

Mark blinks and then he laughs. “Oh those are Wardo’s.”

“What? He writes sex haikii too? Oh fuck me,” Dustin says.

*

Dustin manages to refrain from hacking Mark for a week. Then he’s drunk and he’s bored okay?

Wardo, I want you  
To fuck me hard in our bed  
‘til I can’t sit down

Reach inside of me  
Brush against that magic place  
When I move with you

Tie me up, Wardo  
I am yours and only yours  
I belong with you

It really confuses him because then Mark writes, 

You spread just for me  
Gently, I penetrate you  
You cry just for me

Your hole winks wetly  
There is nothing between us  
I come inside you

So yeah, thanks to their sex poetry – Dustin knows way too much about Mark and Eduardo’s sex life. 

And he hates that Mark is right, always so damn right. Dustin really does need to get laid. 

*

But he’s busy with Facebook. 

Fuck Mark. 

Ugh, not fuck fuck Mark, just…ugh. 

Stupid Mark and his stupidly smart company that has eaten Dustin’s life. 

He doesn’t even know how Mark has time for sex let alone write about sex. 

*

Dustin decides to visit Chris because Chris always has the answers. He’ll know what to say that’ll make Dustin feel better. 

Dustin goes in without knocking because Chris isn’t on the phone, the door isn’t closed and he’s not talking to anyone (Chris’s conditions, not his and he’s supposed to always knock but he’s found that if he’s not ‘interrupting’ anything usually Chris forgives him) – he’s just typing on the computer. He’s not even frowning so it’s a probably pretty good day in Chrisland. 

Chris is one of the really boring types that never looks up any porn on the company computers even though he knows Mark would never fire him. Apparently because he’s unprofessional. Dustin wishes he’d catch Chris doing something naughty (so he can tease him forever honestly!) but he’s gotten over that since college. 

Dustin sits on Chris’s paperwork, carefully. 

“Chris,” Dustin starts. 

“Dustin!” Chris jumps and then he looks at where Dustin is sitting and he’s like. “Dustin! You- Don’t-“

Dustin moves aside because he doesn’t like to get in-between Chris and his paperwork. Sometimes you’d think Chris liked paperwork more than he liked Dustin- That’s when something catches his eye. 

*

I open for you  
Your perfect erect member  
Touching my insides

*

“Are you stealing Wardo’s sex haikoes?” Dustin says incredulously. 

“NO! It’s _haiku_ and give that back!” 

Dustin holds it out of reach, scanning the rest quickly. 

*

Sculpted bed of curls  
The mane of the lion that roars  
Crushing, pounding force

Your velvet channel  
I slowly lick you open  
Unravel your bones

Eternity reigns  
Our bodies like time machines  
Climax forever

I want to map out  
Your every dip and curve  
Just to hear you laugh 

*

“I expected bigger words, Chris. You disappoint me,” Dustin says, giving the piece of paper back now that Chris’s humiliation is complete (Mark is no fun because he’s not embarrassed at all about stuff like this, Wardo is but then Mark will distract him and Wardo is easily distracted when it comes to Mark.) And he caught Chris out. Chris usually does all the catching. (He used to do all the catching too in college come to think of it.)

“Shut up,” Chris says, his face red. “What did you want to talk about?”

“Sex poetry!” Dustin says because it’s true. 

“No,” Chris says. “Just no,” he says sounding a bit desperate. 

“But-”

“No.”

Dustin asks anyway because he has to know. He had to study poetry too. He knows all about symbolism. “So do you have a thing for redheads?” he says hopefully. 

(He could totally be a lion for Chris just to have him lick his velvet channel and have an impossibly long climax.)

“Fuck.” Chris hides his face in his hands so he misses Dustin’s vigorous nodding. “My life,” he says with the air of mourning. He groans again, loudly. 

It’s too late. It sounds like a sexy moan. It’s almost enough to get Dustin to write some poetry of his own. Just maybe if...


End file.
